Friday, 30 September 2016

7 Questions Every Premarital Counsellors Will Ask

Let's face it. Wedding planning  is not as easy as the movie world portrays. Sometimes it can trigger extra stress for both the bride and the groom. There are multiple things that they need to settle and sometimes it's okay to ask for help with your emotional well-being from a third party.

Statistic shows that most couples who seek premarital counselling felt satisfied with their sessions. A professional can bring an awareness of how to deal with issues in the relationships. Couples do not have to go specifically to a psychologist or a psychiatrist. They can also  visit a counsellor or someone who has a background in marital therapy.

You do not need to wait until a problem arise to go to a counsellor. Pre-Marrital counselling can help you to identify your differences and value conflicts before marriage. And also providing couples with tools and process to help overcome the inevitable issues and challenges of marriage when they do arise.

Pre-marital counselling's session last shorter than an individual counselling sessions. Here are some of the questions that you will need to answer in a pre-maritial counselling.

1. What do you appreciate most about your partner and your relationship?When life gets hard, those things that you appreciate most about your partner and your relationship will ground your relationship when all else feels chaotic. 
2. Are you on the same page about having children?__
Children can be a tough topic. Not everybody has the same plan when it comes to children. And When you do decide to have one, your role as a couple changes.
You also need to discuss the work/life balance. Sometimes long working hours can let marriages fall apart. It's time for you to say, "Family time is important, Quality time is also important to me".  
3. How will you handle your relationships with your families?
How do you plan to spend the holidays? Couples need to learn that they are forming a new family entity, and the relationship with their extended families transitions with this. Conversations regarding boundaries and roles of each of their families are important.
4. What does spirituality mean to you?
If you have children, will they be raised in a religious community? Some counsellors believe that this conversation is one of many that can promote curiosity and further understanding into your partner. For many of us, our spirituality is a guiding force in our lives.
5. What does sex mean for both of you?
How will you handle changes in your sex life over the years? Couples have to talk about sex. It's a major part of a healthy relationship.
6. How do you look at spending versus saving?
Who will pay the bills? Are you or your partner incurring debt? It's not abnormal for one person to be a saver and one person a spender. 
7. How will you resolve future conflicts?
What will you do if you're concerned for your marriage? Have a plan, this isn't a question of IF you will struggle, but rather, WHEN."

Sometimes it is difficult to reach a common ground on certain issues; however, communication is important when resolving conflict. Communication style is important to determine how the couple could resolve their differences. And remember it is never a bad thing to ask for help from a counsellor 

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